I wont lie I have sat at the computer at least 5 times in the last month to write this post and i never finish it or i hate the way it turns out.
About 5 weeks ago Bugs dad and I split up. It comes down to us just not being happy. This break up is something that i have seen coming since before Christmas but i just finally had the nerves to make it official. We are still friends and will continue to live together and co parent our daughter for the time being. With that being said no we are not working on stuff and we will not be getting back together. Now for my shocking news.
I'm married! For most my friends and family this isn't a huge shock because I have been married almost 5 years. are you confused yet? If so this is a little back story on June 21st 2008 i got married. The following January some stuff happened and we split up this was the best and worst choice I have ever made. I don't regret it because that would mean i regret the last 4 years of my life and I don't. But i say it my worst choice i ever made because with out him in my life I never felt like my life was complete. I care for Chris and always will but nothing i have felt for him has ever came close to my feeling for James. I am sure most of you have figured out why i am telling you this.... James and I are back together. Right now we are making the long distance thing work but that will be changing late this summer when my Husband moves home to Vancouver.
Our relationship has never been normal but has always been worth it and i know that this is the right choice for our family. I know that some people are going to think were crazy and hell maybe we are. But when it comes down to it i know I'm making the right choice for not only me but for my Daughters as well. I sit here knowing that this is the choice that is making me happy and that i finally feel like my heart is whole again and that's an amazing feeling. I am excited to finally start my life with my amazing husband and our 2 little girls.
I feel so much better now that i have put all this on my blog. I know it may sound crazy to most people but our love is something that has never faded even with time and distance we are still as crazy about the other one as we were 5 years ago. Stay tuned because in the next week I will be posting about our wedding and daughters.